Pearly Whites

I know a lot of people read several blogs a day. I'm personally addicted to towleroad.com and dlisted.com. Addicted! It would be my dream to have someone as addicted to my blog, but with the addition of this post today, I am beginning to realize that may never happen. Because today, I'm not going to talk about how Nicole Ritchie got arrested for a DUI this morning while driving THE WRONG WAY on the 134 freeway. And I'm not going to talk about the death of Pinochet and give my own two cents about what his life and passing has to do with the world we live in. No, brace yourselves, I'm going to talk about a toothbrush. Yup. So, I went to the dentist the other day and the guy was like, whoa, dude, do you like use a jackhammer to clean your teeth? Because those things are all fugged up. (He doesn't really talk like that.) So apparently, I'm what's called an aggressive brusher and am therfore daily ripping the enamel off my teeth. I was wondering why I couldn't drink a glass of cold water without tearing up. The solution? Simple, get an electric toothbrush. So I go to Target and HOLY CRAP electric toothbrushes start at $80. You can get one they costs $150 that probably does your dishes as well. So, I charge the thing up, press the button and let it loose on my teeth. Hmm, interesting, tingly, not alltogether uncomfortable, you need to keep it in there for two minutes, the thing will stop itself in two minutes. Two minutes, brush brush brush, HOLY CRAP two minutes is a long time. For those of you thinking, no, it's not a long time. You're wrong. It's forever. Or so I thought. OK, here's the deal. At first, I was struggling with things to do for the two minutes. Maybe I'll brush my tongue, I thought, or spend a moment massaging the gums, la la la, two minutes. I've used the toothbrush for two weeks now, and let me tell you: things are different. Now, two minutes is not nearly enough time to accomplish all the brushing I need to do. In fact, I've found so many things to do with my brush that I only get through one half of my mouth by the time the thing turns off. I've even tried to count--thirty seconds each mouth section. But I think the sonic vibrations mess up my counting. Sometimes I'll even press the button again and go another two minutes. I'm really flummoxed here. I feel so constrained by this two minute thing. Who decided we should brush for two minutes? I'm going crazy. I'll report back when I've sorted this situation out. Anyway, I recommend an electric toothbrush to anyone who really wants to spend good, quality time thinking about their brushing habits. Riveting stuff, I know. I can't wait to get to Argentina so I'll have something to talk about.