Un Par De Cosas

So, once again, I have no internet access at home. Surprise, surprise. But, I want to toss something up on my blog so all my fans don't miss me. Here is a picture of my new digs. I moved last weekend. The lease ran out on the last place I was living, so I moved one block away into this brick house. This is sort of a strange building for Buenos Aires where most of the apartment buildings are skyscrapers. This is a little 3-storey P.H. for propriedad horizontal. I live on the top two floors. The window on the top right is my bedroom. I can look out onto the street and spy on my neighbors. But when the busses start in the morning, I have to get up becuase they are freakin' loud. Living right on a street in Buenos Aires is not ideal, but I like to spy. In my bedroom also is a door to my own private solarium. Which I can't use because it is FREEZING here. Seriously, it snowed yesterday. From the Buenos Aires Herald: "The National Weater Service said it was the first snowfall in Buenos Aires since June 22, 1918... Other reports said the most recent snowfall was in 1928." Snow is so rare, even the newspapers have no idea when it happened last. No one in alive in this city has ever seen it. So all you out there who give me grief for complaining about the cold, I haven't been kidding. It really is cold. If it sounds like my english skills are a little basic, it's because I've been teaching english classes to businesspeople. This means I sit in their offices for an hour and chat about things like snow, or what cats like. It's the best job I've ever had, but it makes me talk very slowly and simply in other parts of my life. OK, so, that catches you up. I have more pictures of my new place that I'll post, and I took some good BA snow shots.

Rat Tales

I just wish all of you could ride the subway here in Buenos Aires. It is an amazing nexus of worlds: old women smoking because the new smoking ban clearly does not apply to them, unwed mothers holding babies while peddling wares such as bus schedules or hair brushes, and old men reading the Communist Manifesto as if they missed something the first time. Of all the social environments I encounter in this city, the subway in Buenos Aires (called the "Subte") is the most enriching. It is also where any savvy ex-pat goes to fully understand the prevailing style in this city. By style, I mean mode, dress, appearence. Everyone looks amazing, down to their socks. Paris has its runways, New York, its Broadway. Buenos Aires has its Subte. Don't dare take the Subte without cheking your teeth, making sure your socks match, or that your dreadlocks are in perfect array. I've never seen people look more fabulous. In the mornings, they're holding on to the handrails, but they're coiffed, nonetheless, and attired to make a princess blush. What have I learned from this subway style? The Rat Tail is IN. All males under thirty want to look like football stars, so the only logical thing to do is grow a gnarly David Beckham-inspired rat tail. So what have I done? I've gone and grown one. Trust me, I'm not proud of it, but how is a self respecting Subte-rider going to go about his business without one? Granted, I've never played soccer, or have wanted to for that matter, but, a guy has to look good on the Subte? right? I hope to keep you updated on the progress of my rat tail. Many thanks to
Sami, my personal rat-tailor.



It's slight now, but you can see my rat tail a-pokin'. Just give it some gestation time.

Summer Montage

I think I would like to now quote from one of the finer purveyors of journalistic excellence: the Buenos Aires Herald (which is the newspaper in English here. I think it is compiled by a few billygoats and a gnome that once had a layover in Dallas in 1986) Buenos Aires Herald: Thursday, May 31, 2007. Headline: Coldest May in Buenos Aires in 45 years. Yesterday was the coldest day in Buenos Aires in the last 45 years. Blah blah blah... power outages, orphans gone chilly, no heating gas in Chile. What I'm saying here is that it is cold, oh, so cold. So, to make myself feel warmer, I am going to post pictures to this blog of myself enjoying warm weather. (this is also to appease Eric and Kelley. Thanks, I miss you too! besos!)



This is me enjoying the summer sun and one of the gaudier monuments in BA. Love that sweat!!!



This is me enjoying the summer sun in short sleeves in El Parque de tres de Febrero and doing the crossword in the Buenos Aires Herald.



This is me, my Dad and my Grandpa enjoying the beautiful summer in Colonia de Sacramento Uruguay. I know what you're thinking... who the hell goes to Uruguay?? Well, my question is, why am I smaller than may grandpa and my dad? I must have sweated out all my weight in the beautiful summer sun. (I'm really trying to feel warm here, work with me)



And finally, this is me being really HOT even though I am right next to a fan. It was probably 100 degrees and 100 percent humidity and I was hating life. But, now that I can hear the hiss of my heater and I can feel my 7 scarves, a pullover and a large jacket scraping against my neck, I would give a kidney to be there again. I donn't want to sound like a baby, but really, I've lived in Scotland, I've been to SIBERIA.... it is COLD IN ARGENTINA!!!

Yeah, and in case you're wondering why I'm writing at such length, today in election day, compulsory by law, so all the bars and clubs are closed. But, I yearn to be warm. So, you, you there in the northern hemesphere, when you complain about the heat, think of me shivering under my blankets......

Brrrrrrrrr.....???

Before you think I'm obsessed with my refrigerator, let me tell you that this picture above takes me to a happier, warmer time in my life. Back in the summer, if we put ice trays in the freezer, it would take about two solid weeks to produce ice, seriously. This was due to the fact that the summer sun beat down on our beat, old fridge. Oh, how I miss those days of sweating all day and all night. Now, I know this might be a copout to come back to my blog after a month away and have nothing to talk about but the weather. But the weather has been weighing on my mind lately, and from what I can tell, the minds of everyone in Buenos Aires. It has gotten chilly. I actually can't believe how dramatic the seasonal shift here it. After lving in LA so long where the seasons kind of ease into each other, or not at all, I am surprised that one day it was really hot and humid here, and the next it was freezing. Ok, I'm going to back up here. It's not freezing at all. Not even close. I looked at weather.com today and I discovered that it has really not dipped below 45 degrees in a month. In the winter, in LA, we get 45 degree days all the time. People in LA say, "ooh, nippy" and move on. No one really has a heater or an overlarge jacket. Soo why am I so cold here? I think I have fooled myself into thinking it's freezing. This is not my fault. Every time I leave the house, and this is often, everyone on the street is dressed for arctic winter. Serioulsy. Huge goose-down jackets and wool scarves. Everyone wears knit hats; most, gloves. I wander around in a skimpy track jacket and a bare head. Are these people really that cold? When I see these jackets, I think, wow, I'm going to freeze, look at what I'm wearing. But, no, I've caught on to the trick here, you see. Yesterday was a beautiful day, definitley in the mid 70's. I went outside in just a t-shirt. My doorman was wearing galoshes and one of those russian hats with the earflaps. He was probably sweating. So, is it that the Argentines have no tolerance for cold? No, I have a theory. Everyone in this city is so caught up with appearance that you can't go ten feet here without seeing a mirror. The mirrors aren't decorative, the are used. Frequently. This obsession with looks translates obviously into personal fashion. It is winter, therefore no self-respecting Argentine will be caught dead wearing anything but winter garb. It's sort of like no white after labor day. Here, it's no t-shirts after fall. So, to try to blend in, I bought a wool coat. It's nice and big and when I wear it in the sunshine, I sweat. But I look good. At least my freezer is producing ice now. Just not the kind I want...

We broke our oven!

Oh yes, not a day goes by here in Argentina withot some harrowing incident. Like the incident yesterday. For the past few days, the door on our refrigerator (which we call either the Frat Fridge, or the Oven, because it does a better job of warming things than cooling them) has been a little loose, a little wonky. We didn't think anything of it until I decided to pour myself a refreshing beverage of grapefruit juice. I went and sat at the table to enjoy my drink when Crash, Smash, Friccazzee! I looked into the kitchen and on the floor was the door to our fridge. I just had to laugh. I sort of jimmied it back into place and sent Jen a text message the read "the door to our fridge fell off" which I'm sure she read and laughed her head off. She would call an incident like this being "Argentina-ed." From that point, everything was fine with the fridge until a houseguest who clearly did not understand that you have to apply pressure to the upper right corner of the door while opening it, duh... Crash! again. This time a bottle of olives broke. Not the ones in regular olive juice. of course, but the ones in olive oil. Anyway, the pictures above are of Jen cleaning the olive slime off the fridge door. She had wanted to give the door a good cleaning anyway, but couldn't usually quite get it under the faucet. So, that's what's going on here: a broken fridge door.

Dear Mom...

Here in Buenos Aires, my sister and I have been making generous use of a little book called "Point It" Some genius, most likely in the 70s, decided to go all over the place and take pictures of objects, like food and transportation, and put them in a little book that you can fit into your pocket. This book is not for casual dentist office reading, no, oh no, it's a communication tool. If you're in a place where you don't speak the language, and you need, say, a wheel of cheese, you can find the appropriate picture in the "Point It" and, well, point to it. This solves all manner of cross-cultural communication diffuculties because everyone the world over knows what a wheel of cheese looks like. As soon as you point to the picture of the wheel of cheese, the appropriate designee will hopefully produce for you a wheel of cheese. So Mom, you're coming to our fair city this weekend, so Jen and I have prepared our own "Point It" of objects we would like you to bring with you! First, Pilar will model the appropriate way to use the "Point It" Thanks, Pilar. Don't you have an adventure to go on?




American Crew Fiber Hair Stuff. Available at all participating Target stores.

Waterproof mascara. (my sister wants the ladies in the audience know that this is her gross "back up" mascara, but she had to use it because of the humidity.)

The Time Out Guide to Patagonia. Barnes and Noble??

...dinero

That ought to do it. Thanks Mom

Wildlife on Charcas

I have internet! It's cable internet, which is actually about as slow as the signal I've been stealing from the neighbor all month. But, it's a dedicated line; I don't get bumped off when it rains. Everything finally came together when I took a deep breath and went downstairs to talk to the building super. The super. We call him Guido, because he's very Guido-like. He props our building door open during the day with the end of a cigar and stands on the sidewalk and greets everyone who enters. Or, he questions them. By them, I mean me, except I don't understand the questions. One day he went on and on telling me that I need to turn the radio off at 12 on weekdays and 3 on weekdays. He seemed irritated, so I just apologized profusely. Needless to say, he and I got off on the wrong foot. He sort of just glares at me when I go in. Oh, I asked him to fix our toilet. That's what supers do, right? Two days later he still hadn't come over. I asked him again and he informed me that I ought to call a plumber. So the internet people were coming on Thursday (for the third time) and they clearly need information I do not have, so I mustered my charade skills and did a ten minute performance for the super. I imagine it sounded like this: Internet Thursday need help roof two sides. Keys you have, they needing for roof. Roof... and so on. So, thanks Guido, for helping with the internet, but really, could you toss a bit of caulk on our toilet? So life goes on here on Calle Charcas. People are coming back from vacation, the kids started school on Monday, the subway is getting more crowded and everyday a new shop, for lamps, or maybe sandwiches, reopens. Something else is descending on Charcas, too: the wildlife. Last night we killed about 20 mosquitoes on our walls and we were still devoured in our sleep. The mosquitoes are relentless. We bought these little plastic things that you plug in called a fuyi. They emit a sort of citronella that keeps the mosquitoes away. It worked for a while, but we've had heavy rain follwed by swampy weather. Maybe we're not using the fuyi right. I'll look at the directions again, maybe we're supposed to be wearing them around our necks. Or instead of having one in each room, we need thirty. Buenos Aires is not tropical but it's essentially on a swamp. The other day, in the park we say parrots. Yeah, parrots just flying around. I wish I could have gotten a picture, but I'm not a photographer and I find it difficult to take pictures of things that move. We also saw, get this, those big ants that take apart leaves and make a nest with the pieces. Serioulsy, this is some National Geographic stuff here. For your viewing pleasure:


Dirty bloodsukers


Nat Geo ants


Also in the park, a statue of a lion eating a bird while the lion's babies lap up the blood. eek.