Pearly Whites

I know a lot of people read several blogs a day. I'm personally addicted to towleroad.com and dlisted.com. Addicted! It would be my dream to have someone as addicted to my blog, but with the addition of this post today, I am beginning to realize that may never happen. Because today, I'm not going to talk about how Nicole Ritchie got arrested for a DUI this morning while driving THE WRONG WAY on the 134 freeway. And I'm not going to talk about the death of Pinochet and give my own two cents about what his life and passing has to do with the world we live in. No, brace yourselves, I'm going to talk about a toothbrush. Yup. So, I went to the dentist the other day and the guy was like, whoa, dude, do you like use a jackhammer to clean your teeth? Because those things are all fugged up. (He doesn't really talk like that.) So apparently, I'm what's called an aggressive brusher and am therfore daily ripping the enamel off my teeth. I was wondering why I couldn't drink a glass of cold water without tearing up. The solution? Simple, get an electric toothbrush. So I go to Target and HOLY CRAP electric toothbrushes start at $80. You can get one they costs $150 that probably does your dishes as well. So, I charge the thing up, press the button and let it loose on my teeth. Hmm, interesting, tingly, not alltogether uncomfortable, you need to keep it in there for two minutes, the thing will stop itself in two minutes. Two minutes, brush brush brush, HOLY CRAP two minutes is a long time. For those of you thinking, no, it's not a long time. You're wrong. It's forever. Or so I thought. OK, here's the deal. At first, I was struggling with things to do for the two minutes. Maybe I'll brush my tongue, I thought, or spend a moment massaging the gums, la la la, two minutes. I've used the toothbrush for two weeks now, and let me tell you: things are different. Now, two minutes is not nearly enough time to accomplish all the brushing I need to do. In fact, I've found so many things to do with my brush that I only get through one half of my mouth by the time the thing turns off. I've even tried to count--thirty seconds each mouth section. But I think the sonic vibrations mess up my counting. Sometimes I'll even press the button again and go another two minutes. I'm really flummoxed here. I feel so constrained by this two minute thing. Who decided we should brush for two minutes? I'm going crazy. I'll report back when I've sorted this situation out. Anyway, I recommend an electric toothbrush to anyone who really wants to spend good, quality time thinking about their brushing habits. Riveting stuff, I know. I can't wait to get to Argentina so I'll have something to talk about.

Thank God

Condom-o-rama

Ok, my first real post is about condoms. Fine. You know how when you're on the road and you see one bright yellow Volkswagen beetle and then for the rest of the day, you see like 20? It's called selective recognition. Well, today, while reading the internet, I had, for some reason, selective recognition for condoms. There just seemed to be a lot about condoms today. First, Rupert Everett, the UN AIDS ambassador unveiled India's new AIDS mascot called "Rubber Sing." If condoms sang, I would be wearing them all the time.


Secondly, some German people have invented a condom that you can just spray on. German wang spray. It goes on as an aerosol liquid and then hardens into latex. I don't think I even need to get into the reasons why that is not going to work. I could see someone trying to fully condom their cat or something.


Finally, a guy made a condom dress. Great.


Ok, that's pretty bloggy material, right?

Ta-Dah!

This, heralded by brass trumpets and dusty white angels singing in unison some faint cantata, (also, heavenly light, thanks) is the new incarnation of the Wednesday Lunch Group blog. I started this blog before blogs were called blogs back in 2001 in Berkeley, California. There have been no postings since 2002 because my account was deleted by the university when I stopped working there. But oh boy, if only you could have access to THAT hilarity! HA! I started this blog way back then because I was working a really boring job at the University of California. I would sit at a desk in Stephens Hall and answer the phones for the Academic Senate office. Have you heard of the Academic Senate? No? No one else has either. So no one really called. In order to break up the monotony of no phone calls all day, I decided to take one of the classes that the human resources people were offering. I could leave my desk for like two hours a day and take a class in HTML. I don't remember a thing about HTML, but during the class were were supposed to create our own website. So, I created the official website of the Wednesday Lunch Group, replete with pictures and minutes from our weekly meetings. What was the Wednesday Lunch Group? It was a group. That had lunch. On Wednesdays. Anyway, here's my blog. Hello internet! Hello! can you hear me? I'm starting this blog mainly because everyone in the world has one and I feel a little left out and also because I'm leaving the country in February and I figured it would be easier to rattle on about myself once instead of having to individually e-mail all my friends about whatever fermented beverage a villager made me drink that day. So, here it is (heavenly singing ahhhhhhh) the new and improved Wednesday Lunch Group Blog. Enjoy.